For many of us, basic needs were not met when we were children. For many, still, our basic needs are not being met as adults. In order to evolve and self actualize, to unlock our true potential, we’ve probably got to do some serious inner work.

Remember that Maslow believed that educators should respond to the potential an individual has for growing into a self actualized being. If we were all taught to recognize our potential from our earliest years, we could achieve just about anything. The following list provides some keys to unlocking potential in us all, and speaks to the educator in all of us.

1. Teach people to be authentic, to be aware of their inner selves, and to hear their inner feelings and internal voices.
2. Teach people to transcend their cultural conditioning and become world citizens.
3. Help people discover their vocation for life, their calling, fate, or destiny. (This is especially focused on finding the right career and right mate.)
4. Teach people that life is precious, that there is joy to be experienced in life. If people are open to seeing the good in all sorts of situations, life can certainly be viewed as worth living.
5. We must accept people as they are, and help them learn their inner nature.
6. Help assist others in securing their basic needs. This includes safety, belongingness, and esteem needs.
7. Refresh true consciousness by teaching people to appreciate beauty and other positive forces in nature and in life.
8. It takes control to improve quality of life in all areas. (Controls and boundaries are helpful to achieving goals, while complete abandon in this regard might not necessarily help evolution.)
9. Teach people to transcend trifling issues. Assist them in approaching serious problems in life including suffering, pain, death, injustice.
10. Become a good chooser. Practice making good choices.

Think what a fabulous planet (world, community, home) we could create if we were all focused on unleashing our true human potential!

Is it possible? Well, probably – but first, we’ve got to understand how we humans operate on a very basic level.

Many people have heard of humanistic psychologist Abraham Maslow and his Hierarchy of Needs. He developed a theory of personality that has influenced a number of different fields, including education. This theory accurately describes many realities of personal experiences.

Humanists focus upon potentials. They strive for an upper level of capabilities. They seek frontiers of creativity and the highest reaches of consciousness and wisdom. Maslow calls this level “self actualizing person, a fully functioning person or a health personality.”

In Maslow’s theory of needs, all of our basic needs instinctive (just like animals). Humans start with a very weak disposition that is then fashioned fully as the person grows. If the environment is right, people will grow straight and beautiful, actualizing the potential(s) they have inherited. If the environment is not right (news flash: it is mostly not!) they will not grow straight and beautiful. Maslow’s hierarchy offers five levels of basic needs. But beyond these needs, higher levels of needs exist, including needs for understanding, aesthetic appreciation, and purely spiritual needs. We humans cannot move through the stages of needs until the demands of the first (or supporting) need has been satisfied.

So, what are these basic needs?
1. Physiological: These biological needs consist of oxygen, food, water, and relatively constant body temperature. They are the strongest needs because if deprived, we would not thrive.

2. Safety: When all physiological needs are met and are no longer controlling thoughts and behaviors, the needs for security can become active. Adults have little awareness of their security needs except in times of emergency or periods of disorganization in the social structure (such as rioting). Children often display the signs of insecurity and the need to be safe.

3. Love, affection, and belongingness: When the needs for safety and for physiological wellbeing are satisfied, love, affection and belongingness can then emerge. Maslow states that people seek to overcome feelings of loneliness and alienation. This involves both giving and receiving love, affection and the sense of belonging.

4. Self Esteem: When the first three classes of needs are satisfied, the needs for esteem can become dominant. These involve needs for both self-esteem and for the esteem a person gets from others. Humans have a need for stability, a firm base or foundation, high level of self respect, and respect from others. When these needs are satisfied, the person feels self-confident and valuable. When these needs are unmet, the person feels inferior, weak, helpless, or worthless.

5. Self Actualization. When the first four levels of needs are satisfied, then and only then are the needs for self actualization activated. Maslow describes self actualization as a person’s need to be and do that which the person was born to do. For example, a musician must make music, an artist must paint, and a poet must write. When unmet, restlessness ensues. The person feels on edge, tense, lacking something.

Maslow believes that the only reason that people would not move well in the direction of self actualization is because of hindrances placed in their way by family or society. He states that education is one of these hindrances. Maslow states that educators should respond to the potential an individual has for growing into a self actualized being.

Interested in learning more? Spend some time online learning more about Maslow and his hierarchical theory. Then, think about times in your life where your basic needs may have gone unmet. What did you do? Think? Believe? Feel? How did you move forward? Or, are you stuck?

“Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.”
– Tori Amos, pop/rock singer

Some of us dive right into the inner work we know we can truly benefit from while others are more hesitant to dig up (and through) the past. Counseling, self help guides, even creative endeavors and exercise can assist us along our personal paths. And, this process of uncovering and healing all takes time.

Sometimes you can get stuck traveling down this path to healing, and a healthy, helpful boost is what you need. When you feel stuck, which is natural and common, your mind can be compared to a computer that uses software programs. These software programs are filled with your emotions and beliefs that combine together to make up what you think and feel. And, sometimes this software can get stuck in a loop and stop working the way we desire.

It seems that trauma and negative emotions can combine with a certain thought or feeling and create a locked neural pathway in your brain, trapping the negativity in your brain and body. This is how many define post traumatic stress, which seems daunting to deal with, but if you make time to approach your issues with the appropriate tools, you can and will heal.

Take a moment out of every day to assess where you are, where you’ve been, and where you hope to be. With an open mind and heart (and the right tools) you can make big changes that help you heal.

I recently attended a training about dealing with trauma and grief. The work we did was amazing and I love the new tools I learned for helping my traumatized clients. The doctor who taught the class engaged us in an important exercise that allows a person breath deep and low, therefore causing calm or relaxation. You can read about how to perform this exercise in my May 3rd blog.

When helping a trauma victim heal, it’s critical for them to be able to relax in order to address the traumatic events and resolve them. If you are having anxiety, practice this important breathing exercise often.

During the course of a lifetime, approximately half of all men and women will exposed to or experience at least one traumatic event, such as an assault, vehicular or work related accident, serious sports injury, domestic violence event, or natural disaster (earthquakes, hurricanes). Some people can resume their normal lives after such an experience while others will suffer significant distress or impairment. Traumatic experiences impact both the brain structure and processes.

But, what is trauma? Trauma is characterized as a rare and overwhelming event that produces an intense emotional response (fear, helplessness, horror). It’s not just an external event – the event is traumatic and/or intensely scary.

Trauma also has a psychological response. For many years mental health professionals and others have recognized that exposure to trauma produces enduring psychological consequences. Many people mask or self medicate the symptoms that develop from exposure to traumatic stress as a form of numbing.

Trauma can be traced to a natural defense mechanism that all human beings share. It is referred to as the flight or flight or freeze response. In the face of stress or danger, the body releases a chemical called adrenaline, which results in a wide range of physiological and psychological responses such as increased heart rate, overall hyper arousal of the bodily systems, and increased pupil size. A lesser known fear response is the freeze response or immobilization. This reaction to fear or terror often leaves people with the belief afterward, “why didn’t I do something?”. Freezing and fleeing are often defensive responses that are connected to unrealistic and debilitating feelings of guilt and shame in the aftermath of trauma.

A few symptoms that a person who has experienced trauma may also have:
• nightmares
• avoidance of people, place, and other situation is associated with trauma
• visual, auditory, and kinesthetic flashbacks
• intrusive thoughts
• persistent anxiety, increased arousal, and hypersensitivity
• sleep disturbances
• diminished interest or participation in previously enjoyed activities
• feelings of detachment and isolation
• psychic numbing

Symptoms can be mild to severe. Ongoing symptoms are very taxing on a person’s nervous system and people can try to self medicate for relief. Anyone who has grown up in a household of alcoholics or drug addicts or family that is depressed or anxious (who often have had their own history of trauma) can be well aware of the symptoms mentioned above.

There are countless studies about trauma. For more information on trauma (and related PTSD) please visit LifeForce or Sara Gilman.

My colleague and friend, the amazing John Overdurf, will be joining us in Oregon at the end of July to teach an intensive workshop geared to the coaching professional.

This workshop is for busy professionals who are interested in learning about the latest effective coaching practices. Whether you are new to NLP or already an NLP practitioner or master practitioner, you’ll certainly benefit from this training that emphasizes how to effectively and conversationally coach the unconscious mind.

The training will explore how to work with unconscious processes found at the root of most coaching issues, as well as focus on how to communicate naturally and conversationally so techniques can be adapted to a variety of coaching contexts.

Plan on expanding your skills during an intensive week that begins on July 31 and runs through August 6, 2010. Learn more about John Overdurf, his specialized, intensive training, and how to register for the event that may change your practice and your life right here.

See you at the training!

So, what does brain plasticity really mean? And, why is this an important, intriguing concept?

My clients ask me all the time what does plastic or plasticity mean when referring to the brain. Is my brain plastic? No. Of course not.

Plasticity or neuroplasticity is the lifelong ability of the brain to reorganize neural pathways based on new experience. So, as we learn and acquire new knowledge and skill, there is actual change in the brain that represents the new knowledge. This ability of the brain to change with learning is what neuroplasticity refers to.

Now, embrace this fascinating concept. In the past it was believed that as we aged, our brain’s networks became fixed. In the past couple of decades, however, an enormous amount of research has revealed that the brain never stops changing or adjusting.

You might say “all we are is changing.” What a concept! – one that brings us back to how important it is to truly be aware of what you are paying attention to or focusing on as much as possible. If you are fixated on anger or fear, your brain will stay in that mode.

Neurons that fire together, wire together. Neurons that fire apart, wire apart. So if you are stuck on fearful thoughts, guess what are you actually wiring together in your brain. If you are constantly thinking fearfully, your brain will most likely be stuck in that negative space.

Now, consider this. The longest time a strong urge or emotion can coast biochemically is a mere 90 seconds. For such emotions to last longer in your brain and body, you’ve got to keep fueling that fire with constant, negative internal chatter.

Your nervous system has to be reminded to keep firing the same circuitry over and over again. In order for emotions and thoughts to persist, your system has to be re-engaged either through internal stimulation (conjuring up images and pictures in your mind, engaging in self talk) or external stimulation that serve as triggers and anchors from the environment around us (seeing a particular person or place). And, the stronger the feeling you have, the greater the number of circuits are simultaneously activated.

This can be good news to the degree that you are focused on creating good feelings with strong, positive thought patterns. So, don’t focus on the negative: when you think positively, you positively change your brain for the better.

My March 23 post introduced the quantum Zeno effect—a quantum phenomena first demonstrated by George Sudarshan at University of Texas in 1977. The study found that the longer something is observed (in this case, decaying atoms), the longer it takes to change. In 2005, Stapp and Schwartz applied the quantum Zeno effect to mental experience.

I didn’t understand the “watched pot never boils” theory until the recent studies about the brain’s neuroplasticity emerged. We can now see neurons in the brain, how they move and act, and how the brain changes and grows. It’s very exciting, to say the least.

But what does this have to do with managing stress to create a healthy, balanced life? When I work with people plagued by anxiety or depression— or any negative state of mind, for that matter—I know that these individuals have developed a super highway, if you will, of neurons that have been the focus of attention time and time again. That attention creates bigger neurons, stronger routes, and resilient links. It becomes familiar and easy to focus on.

Huh?

If you are anxious or having a panic attack, your brain creates huge “trees” of neurons that grow with the attention you give them. That is, the more you pay attention to the negative, the more negative brain cells you are growing.

When I engage in trainings and individual coaching sessions, I am always listening to what people are truly focused on in an attempt to determine where their attention is. Most of us don’t have this awareness, at least initially, so it’s important and helpful to be present and listen to what’s really going on. What we are paying attention to (and feeding) is critical. What you pay attention to gets bigger, stronger, faster in your brain.

To shift this negative balance, paying attention the the positive shouldn’t be a challenge, but for many, it is. Because those neural pathways become deep rooted in our brains, it is even more difficult to change and influence away from the pattern. Paying attention to happy or positive thoughts (something spiritual, maybe situated in nature, a past positive experience or emotion) can make significant changes for the better in your brain. Your brain grows cells in the prefrontal cortex area which can support the positive.

Try this simple exercise to reinforce the positive and change your brain. Ask yourself: What actions would I take that would cause me to be happy happy (or, motivated, cheerful, calm, grateful)?

Focusing on such positive thoughts is good brain food. What you pay attention to gets bigger and stronger. Why not make it positive rather than staying rooted in the negative? Remember that the unconscious mind loves repetition. Continually focusing on what you want out of life will help you get there, positively! Go on—change your brain.

When you find yourself feeling stressed, you can neutralize the damage by engaging in this simple exercise that begins with several deep breaths.

Sit upright in a comfortable chair with both of your feet balanced on the floor. Breathe deeply and slowly from your diaphragm (not just the top part of your lungs). Notice when you start to relax. If you want to change your physiology a bit, move around a little, wiggle your toes, take another breath. You’re settling in for even deeper relaxation! Now, try to focus your attention on your heart. Try “breathing” through your heart. (Think about this for a minute so you can get a visual that works for you.) Note the sensations your body, breath and brain experience through this sequence..

Now go ahead and think about something entirely opposite from what was the initial cause of your stress – maybe a happy moment or fun time in your life. As you fill your mind with a pleasant thought (or memory, or visual) this will actually help to change the fight or flight response in your brain and body. Fight or flight response changes the biochemical mix in your body – swapping for a pleasant thought will help alter your mind/body chemistry, too.

In this exercise, I like to think about what and who I am grateful for – people, places, things, situations that make me feel good. This not only brings a smile to my face, but helps make more positive connections in my brain that then allow me to deal with stress triggers in a healthier way.

Go ahead…try it now!

Do you know what stress is? Where it comes from? How it manifests? If everyone experiences stress the same way?

One thing is certain—stress affects our attitudes and can certainly affect our overall health and well being. How we perceive a situation causes us to have an emotional reaction to it. Many people look at the outside event as the real cause of stress, when the experience of stress is actually occurring on the inside. Common responses to stress can often be tension, anxiety, anger, and frustration. These responses can then throw off our mental and physical self, pushing us—and keeping us—out of balance.

Two people in identical circumstances may respond to stressful situations or negative triggers in totally different ways. One may react outwardly, while another may withdraw and get tired. Many experts agree that 75 percent (or more!) of the unhealthy habit of continued, excessive overeating is caused by emotional stress. This means many of us are using food to cope with our feelings, blocking our emotions in an attempt to feel better when triggered by something negative.

There are many methods for helping people reduce stress and create emotional balance to march towards positive patterns and behaviors that reinforce overall health. I attribute my success in helping clients alter unhealthy patterns by teaching them emotional management skills. My clients learn how to effectively change their responses to almost any stressful situation or negative trigger. Once my clients learn how to achieve a relaxed state and maintain that relaxation, change work becomes more comfortable, empowering, and effective.

You’ve got the power to change the negative to positive. You can minimize the impact a potentially stressful situation has on your well being. You can achieve the peace of mind you’ve always dreamed of having.

The subconscious, or, your unconscious mind, loves patterns and repetition. What’s familiar to your mind resonates instantly. When it’s a positive pattern, great! You can achieve many, many things. But, when it’s a negative pattern or thought that’s repeated over time, then you become your own worst enemy and it’s harder to meet challenges, to excel, to achieve.

Modern research has discovered that our emotional states are produced by a couple of things like how we hold our bodies (our physiology) and the mental pictures we focus on. Did you know that we have approximately 44,000 to 66,000 mental pictures or thoughts a day? That’s a lot of content to experience, process and react to.

The one primary way we can change our emotional states is to change our physiology or how we are holding our body. Exactly how we are holding our bodies can trigger every emotion that we have ever experienced—how you carry yourself throughout the day has the potential to trigger feelings like being sad, mad, happy, or confident. As soon as we train our body to be in the physiology we want, we can instantly feel the corresponding emotion!

My Mental Toughness and Success Moment CDs are each designed specifically to help you get into and stay in the physiology and emotional state you want each and every day. My CDs are designed with specific suggestions and imageries that teach you to develop a mental toughness and with repetition (or, as I like to say, repeatedness). Take control your states of mind—positively and effectively!